“Nothing endures but change” ~ Heraclitus
From the ever constant regeneration of the cells in our bodies, to the ebb and flow of the tides to the far reaches of space where the stars are burning, change is occurring. It’s occurring every millisecond for without change there is stagnation. Without change there is no growth, no evolution, only death.
You didn’t see it coming…
When a sudden change takes you by surprise the after effects can be tough to deal with. Your present reality is pulled out from under you and what you saw as your future is now uncertain. Your attachment to how you pictured your path and assumption of how things “are” are powerful determinants of how you will handle the inevitable changes in life.
Our natural instinct is to control, as much as possible, what is happening around us and to us, and feeling that we are in control gives us a sense of security. We can become rigid and unyielding to the ups and downs and when something out of our power directly affects us it’s easy to spiral into fear and panic and exaggerate the negative impact.
Let’s look at the loss of a job for instance.
A range of emotions will likely surge through when the news comes, like a storm, all chaotic and frothy.
Probably first of all comes panic, then a sense of betrayal, feelings of not being good enough, I don’t deserve this, self-blame, anger, fear, resentment, loss and eventually grief. Allow yourself the time and space to feel and acknowledge each emotion because they are valid and deserve your loving attention.
Be aware though, sitting in the soup, simmering slowly over the low heat of self-pity is okay for a while, you are allowed, but hop out before the pot starts to boil.
What have you been asking for?
Things happen for a reason, isn’t that what all the gurus say? I happen to believe that’s true. What I don’t believe however is that things just happen randomly without our influence, with the exception of natural disasters and major accidents of course. We severely underestimate the power of our unconscious mind most of the time, and when I use the word “mind” I refer to the interconnected whole body consciousness, not just what we perceive from our head. It is operating to ensure that it guides us towards our most desired outcome, so…
Ask yourself some questions:
· How did I really feel about that job?
· Was I fulfilling my greatest needs?
· How do I want to feel in my work environment?
· What do I really want to do?
Could it be that this is the beginning of a new chapter for you? An opportunity to make some changes that will ultimately be for the better? Could this be what you secretly wanted but were too afraid to make the break from your nice cosy comfort zone?
That feeling you get when apprehension or fear spreads through your belly is the exact same feeling you get when you get excited. The same rush of adrenalin, the same rise of butterflies, the same breathlessness. The ONLY difference is the meaning you attach to the event that triggered it. So change the meaning.
Find all the reasons why this thing that “happened to you” is a good thing. Neutralize the negative self-talk with all the fabulous things you know to be true about you. Your skills, your talents, your experience and what now will this new freedom allow you to do and be? Allow the people close to you to join in. Turn that fear of the future into excitement and grab hold of it. Once you let go of the fear you will get creative and resourceful. Yes it may be uncomfortable, yes it’s causing some stress right now, but what new doors are opening for you? Think about it, write a list and keep on adding to it, fill a book, start a collection of effect-ion…
Change is a process. It is a process of allowing, trusting and then embracing our beautiful evolution. Change is constant, swirling and flowing; it is not finite. You either cruise with it or doggy-paddle against the tide.
Changing the way we think, feel and react to events, our surroundings and the people in our lives takes stamina, self-awareness and practice. It’s a discipline that needs constant attention. The reward though is the peace that can only come from unshakeable faith and trust. Trust in YOU.