Fear of change often stems from facing an unknown or unfamiliar situation and the possibility of not being up to the perceived challenge. Deep insecurities rise to the surface to prick at the soft underbelly of our self-confidence.
If a situation or experience is coming up that you have no familiarity with its highly likely that you will have a certain amount of anxiety around it. We love routine and knowing what to expect, so when we have to do something differently we have to engage another part of the brain, create new neural pathways and get present to that process. Uncertainty can be destabilizing and pushes you out of your comfort zone.
What is another word for change? If the word “change” holds a meaning for you that is negative and invokes fear and uncertainty then try the word “Growth” on for size. Both words can be used to describe the same process.
“To become different or undergo alteration. To undergo transformation or transition. To go from one phase to another, as the moon or the seasons. A transformation or transition from one state, condition, or phase to another.”
“The process of growing or developing. A gradual development toward maturity. Formation and development. Evolution, evolvement, progress.”
And let’s be clear here, change IS merely a process. The process of change is neutral; it is not bad or good, happy or sad. It is the meaning that we give it that causes our emotional reaction.
If you lose your job, a lover or a friendship, maybe even your home, you probably would react in a negative way, you’d assign the “bad” label to the experience. Negative emotions like fear, anger, rejection, resentment and grief would probably be invoked and chemical reactions occur in your body.
Similarly, getting a new job or a new lover can be equally as stressful if the focus is on what could go wrong.
It’s vitally important to keep the negative reactions to a minimum to safeguard you clarity of thought and your energy which are the very first things to disappear when under stress.
So, what if you chose to believe it to be a “good” experience, or at the very least neutral? Instead of zoning in on all the fear based possible scenarios make a flip, think about all the possible advantages there are to becoming free, at least for a while. Then write a list that is AT LEAST as long as the first one of all the disadvantages to you if you had stayed the same. Keep on adding to it and you will neutralize the negative spiral.
What I find really interesting is that so many people fear change when ironically, change is the only constant in life. Whether you attach a negative meaning to “change” or you embrace it, one thing is for sure, you can’t stop it. Change is happening all around us, within us and despite us. We are in a constant state of change. Our cells are regenerating, our hair and nails are growing, our skin is shedding, we lose weight, we gain weight, we grow a child within us, we grow older, we grow up; we change our mind, our attitude and our beliefs.
Allow yourself to accept, honour and embrace the changes in your life, flow with it and welcome it, for it will surely be the catalyst for your evolution.
I have the privilege of serving and creating a vision for healing trauma on Yuggera Lands. I give deep gratitude and offer respect to the local Elders of the community of which I am proud to be a part. I honour their generosity, wisdom and leadership. May we all learn and integrate the ancient knowledge available through human connection.