Been there, done that! Putting on the fake it till you make it face isn't going to get you through another year is it? I think many have had enough of the expectation that this time of year brings. Of forcing the positive attitude, really trying but struggling to "feel how it feels" to be successful or happy to activate the law of attraction, when deep inside we simply "know" it's all going to be the same old same old.
It happened to me pretty much every year. It was exhausting trying to be super optimistic about what the new year will bring, because, let's face it, the hindsight on the last few years presents fairly convincing evidence that we just might be stuck on repeat.
No matter how hard we try to do a number on that prophet of doom we call our subconscious mind, the nagging nay-sayer keeps slipping past the gate keeper. Boom, one more positive intention slides into the abyss! And on it goes...
It's OK, it's not your fault. It feels like it is. You tell yourself it is. You beat yourself up because you truly believe that it is, but it's not. You are not to blame.
In fact, self-blame, or indeed any kind of blame, is the normal response to the internal struggle that's going on for you right now, in the looming energy that is about to become 2020, BUT, it's not going to serve you or allow you to make the most of, or even recognise, the opportunities that are coming. You already know it, right? But your looping sense of powerlessness paralyses and frustrates your best efforts.
You are unwittingly giving away your precious vital energy and power to the past. Like handing it over on a plate to the energy drainers, the vampires, the ex's, the betrayers, the mistakes, the distractions and the disappointments. A lifetime of them.
We are wired to remember and feel the negative shit that we've experienced more strongly than the positive, because that's how we survive and stay safe, despite our attempts to override it, let it go and just get on with life.
Maddeningly, this mental ping-pong happens in the blink of an eye. It's a spark that ignites in a belief, that catches hold in a thought, then burns up the nervous system like an out of control bush fire. And don't we know what THAT looks like?
The effect is literally the razing of your positive intentions and all that you are so diligently imagining and listing as your hopes, dreams and goals for 2020.
You want it to be different! You NEED it to be different, but it CAN'T be different because the saboteur that is your unobserved and inaccessible belief system is running the show, and it has the proof that it's right, in all of your crappy experiences.
So how to tackle the several layers of lived proof that you have developed and the resistance to allowing the vulnerability to the potential of failure of attaining said goals and dreams?
Well, number 1 thing to do is actually get serious and commit to yourself because nothing will change if you don't.
What does that bring up for you?
Yeah I know, there's something stopping you from making that commitment. You've tried right?
What feeling comes up for you when you think about committing to yourself and what you want? Fear? Anxiety? Are you even able to name it?
See, this is the first step that's so often missed when we try to get ourselves into that positive state, to get the enthusiasm pumping and the neurons making the right kind of connections.
According to you subconscious programming, you are simply not _____________ enough. Fill in that blank with good, intelligent, worthy, capable, allowed or whatever variation on the theme applies to you. You can't jump into the getting of the goals if your fundamental belief about yourself is you are not worthy of achieving those goals. As weird as it seems, to push for those goals would be a betrayal of your true self, as it exists right now.
It's SUCH a catch 22!
It's a body based feeling, a contracting, and it's inextricably linked to your direct challenge to your internal guidance system. Your beliefs.
I can't tell you what your belief about yourself is, but I can tell you that THE most reported negative self-belief is "I'm not good enough".
So, it's time to get completely honest with yourself and begin to acknowledge and accept that the fundamental basic blocks to whatever you want to achieve is your own unconscious operating system that puts the brakes on when you are pressing the accelerator.
So how about we do a little tapping on this quandary and see if we can't shift it!
Just look at that crazy face in the thumbnail! It was the best one available. Crikies!
So, I'm back to the writing. Did you watch the video? How do you feel after the tapping session? You can re-watch it and see if anything different comes up. Keep going until you feel a shift and the resistance lessens. The main thing to remember is that this is your process, and this is your year, so let's do everything possible to bring in the very best experiences and opportunities. You have nothing to lose and absolutely everything to gain. Just do this crazy looking little sequence and enjoy the benefits of more peace and balance in your life.
Drop me some comments or get in touch via Facebook or email. I'd also love to know if you have any suggestions of issues you'd like to see in a video.
Here's to all of us stepping into 2020 with clarity and with clean energy ready to make the most of what's to come!
A fabulously prosperous and happy New Year to you and yours :)
I have the privilege of serving and creating a vision for healing trauma on Yuggera Lands. I give deep gratitude and offer respect to the local Elders of the community of which I am proud to be a part. I honour their generosity, wisdom and leadership. May we all learn and integrate the ancient knowledge available through human connection.